Holiday season is upon us and many singles are hoping to find someone special. If that's you and you've been using dating apps like Tinder & Bumble with no luck, keep reading.
Tinder is a fickle mistress. You install the app and get tons of matches. Then a day goes by and crickets. Nothing. There's a reason for that. What you're experiencing is called the "noob boost." Dating apps like Tinder use an algorithm to decide who you see in your matches and who sees you, all based on your swiping, match, log in and account history. New users automatically get seen by more profiles, but this extra visibility only last 24 hrs.
Then reality sets in. Now, who appears in your matches become dependent on other - more uncontrollable - criteria. With that in mind, here are some Do's & Don'ts to use across the more popular dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble & OKCupid.
DO Log in regularly - It's suggested that users log in 2-3 times a day, a few hours apart, to demonstrate how active they are. Active users get a bump in visibility. Rather than do one session and blow through 100 profiles, log in multiple times and view 25-30 profiles per session.
DON'T swipe indiscriminately - Yeah, it's fun to see who likes you, but too many swipes per session or consecutive swipes will result in you being shadow banned and your profile being dumped at the bottom of the queue. According to this article, a 30%-70% swipe right quota is deal.
DON'T unmatch someone too soon - Hey, it happens. You were on a roll and swiping right and then, only after you make a match, did you view their profile and learn they hate dogs (monsters!) or actually live in another state. You'll be tempted to unmatch them, but don't. At least not right away. The app's algorithm interprets that behavior as bot-like. Unmatching too soon might ding your visibility.
DO post clear & recent photos - This should be a no-brainer. One added reason to post good photos is that Tinder uses AWS software, which is able to recognize items and locations in photos. So, if you have a dog or are in a yoga pose or standing in front of a landmark of some kind, the algorithm will include you in searches for people who have swiped on profiles with similar or related items in their photos.
DO pay the monthly membership - While none of these dating app talking heads will admit it, it's widely believed that non-paying users are disregarded almost entirely. They get their noob boost, then it all goes to hell in a handbasket.
DON'T define yourself by your Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or OKCupid matches. It's very hard - almost impossible - not to be affected by the insane amount of rejection ALL USERS experience. Not matching with someone only bolsters that voice in your head that you'll never find anyone or that nobody wants you. THAT IS NOT TRUE. You have to remember that your profile might never have been seen by the people you're swiping right on. The algorithms are the ones that decide who gets to see your profile. It is 100% out of your control. That lack of a match means NOTHING and is not an indicator of your desirability, value, character or worthiness.
Want to learn more? We have an online workshop coming up that will cover all of this info and more. Also included is a huge internet hug and chuck under the chin to remind you that you can do this, it's marathon and not a sprint, and that you matter. .